when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
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it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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