When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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