We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize