Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's blow job season.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize