I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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