this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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