I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
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I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
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Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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