i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize