can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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