he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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