What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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