I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
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I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm always down for nudity.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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