It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
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My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
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Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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