I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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