felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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