I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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