Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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