I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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