Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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