I didn't shave. On purpose
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize