she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
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I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
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I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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