If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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