i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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