The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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