Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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