So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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