I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize