my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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