used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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