I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize