Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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