Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
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Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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