I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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