OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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