This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
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How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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