I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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