God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize