Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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