after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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