just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
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His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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