when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
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If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm both gender and math confused
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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