got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
BRING THE BAGELS
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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