Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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