i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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