youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize