All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
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Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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