i don't like sucking hair
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize