Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We have so much sex to catch up on
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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