I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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