God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize